Israel and the Palestinians: A Tale of Two Dinners (No 6)
Interested observers frequently express frustration with the endless Mideast conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinian Arabs. The nature of the dispute is intractable and viable solutions and diplomacy efforts aimed at a permanent solution have short shelf life. The rhetoric is intense, the violence is sustained and nothing of significance ever changes for the common citizens. Both idealists and real politic practitioners in the United States struggle with the lack of interest in compromise solutions. Both parties take a “My Way or the Highway” perspective. It is a Shakespearean tragedy or a depressing opera based on your arts preference. We believe everything is negotiable and seemingly insoluble problems can be solved with a little elbow grease, creativity and flexibility. Frankly, the entire Mideast drama produces exhaustion and ennui- with this foggy state periodically interrupted by brutal acts of violence and terror. Eg; the Hamas October 7, 2023 attack which killed 1300 Israelis and 250 hostages in Gaza; followed by an Israeli onslaught leading to 44,000 dead Palestinians, a completely destroyed physical infrastructure and severe humanitarian issues relating to the lack of food and water. SO IT GOES! How did these two peoples end up in a permanent state of war? There are 7 million Israelis and 7 million Palestinians on a small footprint of land. Can they live together? Can there be 2 states for 2 peoples? Can there be one state for 2 peoples? Will we end up with one state for 1 people with the other party relegated to permanent apartheid like status? The tangled history provides explanations. It always does. What are the key historical events here and can they be overcome?
We will get to the normal historical benchmarks: signature dates, influential leaders, important battles, winners and losers. However, I will share two personal stories that clarify the underlying narrative and reveal the depth of the emotions at play here. I was honoured to participate in a Chicago Council of Global Affairs study mission to Israel, the West Bank and Jordan in 2018. Our access to policymakers was phenomenal. We met with Prime Minister Netanyahu and key members of his cabinet. We also met with Israeli legislative and judicial leaders, journalists and business leaders at meetings and social events in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem. In Ramallah, we met with Palestinian leadership, including major players in the intelligence and banking sectors. We met with civic leaders and students. In Jordan, we met with the Crown Prince and the Foreign Minister and travelled to a refugee camp in other Jordan near the Syrian border. An illuminating trip- world class itinerary and guides. Ultimately, the visits with the politicians were not the most educational part of the trip.
Story No 1 is set in Tel Aviv at the beautiful residence of America’s Ambassador to Israel. Our dinner was with 20 leading members of Israeli society- bankers, educators, authors, artists, engineers, professors and musicians. A five star guest list. My Israeli dinner companion was a senior banker at the Israeli National Bank, analogous to our Federal Reserve. He was polished, articulate and confident. He received his PHD in Economics from the University of Chicago and lived in my hometown for 6 years. The food was excellent and we were both wine aficionados and we discussed our preferences in depth. We bonded on the Cubs, Bears, Bulls, Chicago architecture, politics, blues and jazz. It was delightful. I then deflected the conversation to the purpose of our visit- the Israeli relationship with the Palestinians and a pathway to peace. My companion’s body became rigid, his eyes hardened and he became Max Headroom on a bad day. His response was crisp and unequivocal. "Bill, you are a wonderful fellow and I love Americans and America- the optimism is contagious… But here you are naive.” There will be no peace with the Palestinians because they don’t want peace. They hate us, are trained in the cradle to kill us and the schools poison their minds further. They are monsters- they are barbarians and they are hopelessly corrupt and have horrible leadership. The solution is for them to stay over there (pointing toward the horizon) and for us to stay here. Separation and segregation is the key to a safe Israel. We will build walls to protect our families. Good faith negotiation with them is impossible. WOW! How about hose Bears and should see sample another Bordeaux.
The next night we were in Ramallah with Palestinian movers and shakers and a group of top student leaders. The hosts were warm and the cocktail conversation was normal, engaging and friendly. We had assigned seats at dinner and my immediate partner was an 18 year old Palestinian young woman. She was “cool”. All of the students were top of class types and our dialogue would give us a window on the future. She was cute, a “fashionista” and an expert on Mediterranean cuisine. She designed clothes and jewelry, but her main passion was journalism This was her current major and her goal was to attend the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University for graduate school. Again, as a Chicagoan a wonderful opportunity to share the beauty of Chicago and encourage her ambition. Overall, she was articulate, funny and intelligent. I was tempted to set her up with our son Michael. I then followed our mandate and inquired on her views of the political situation and prospects for peace in the new future. What was the path to reconciliation? Immediately, she became “CARRIE” on prom night (see the movie- Sissy Spacek). She raised her voice, her legs started shaking, she grabbed my arm and her glorious smile left the building! The body language transformation was accompanied by a passionate and angry response. “Well, the answer is simple. They leave and we get our land and homes back. They are thieves and colonialists who took away our property and villages by force." She then showed me a fading black and white picture of her grandfather on the family plot in Palestine (now Israel) prior to 1948. She then said, “the problem will be solved when my husband and children will be with me on the same land in a free Palestine.” But, I asked what about the Israelis? She declared- “they are all rich and should buy first class tickets back to Europe or wherever else they came from.” This is our country. She dismisses the two state solution and said the solution was a Palestinian state with no Jewish citizens. I then attempted to return to safe conversational ground and asked about her family. Wow- a minefield. She showed me a photo of her parents- attractive people. I asked about siblings. If anything, the tension ratcheted up a level and she advised me that she once had a sister but she was “gone." I expressed my condolences thinking she had passed away. She corrected me instantly- explaining the her sister had been the top student in her school. The Israelis started a scholarship program where 6 top Palestinian students would attend Hebrew University Medical School in Jerusalem. This is world renowned institution. Her sister accepted and is now in her second year of medical school. Sadly, she has not spoke to her sister since her sister accepted the scholarship. She has disowned her. She is “dead to me” because she is a traitor to the Palestinian nationalist cause. She is living with the enemy. To quote “our relationship is over”! I conclude our evening with a hug, a sincere good luck and a massive headache.
It is hard to be hopeful after these two wildly disparate dinner chats. Frankly, the passion, the intensity and the HATRED was discombobulating. Each party see this conflict through their own lens and there is no room in the vision for contemplating whether the other party has compelling narrative as well. Mutual blindness. Every time there is a violent turn in the Mideast, I think of these conversations.
